What's Your Drama?

Ok, I'll go first.

My drama has been to allow my pain-body to take over my thinking in the context of a love relationship.

No, that's too abstract. Let's try again. My drama has been to take things personally in the context of a love relationship. There, now that's something people can relate to, I think. 

Things said and done by my significant other would be felt as intense "emotional pain."

[Ok, now I've said the same thing in three different ways. Take a moment and look at those three descriptions of my drama and try to understand how they're all saying exactly the same thing.]

This "emotional pain" would cause me to react against the supposed source of this pain, my significant other. But of course, she wasn't impacting my physical body in any way, so how could she have been the source of my pain? She couldn't. In fact, it was my own thoughts that were causing this "emotional pain," so called. I was doing it to myself.

Daily Tolle #2

"'At this moment, this is what you feel,' I said. 'There is nothing you can do about the fact that at this moment this is what you feel. Now, instead of wanting this moment to be different from the way it is, which adds more pain to the pain that is already there, is it possible for you to completely accept that this is what you feel right now?'" [Italics original]

-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth , p. 165

Daily Tolle #1

"If there are other people around, preferably your partner or a close family member, the pain-body will attempt to provoke them--push their buttons, as the expression goes--so it can feed on the ensuing drama. Pain-bodies love intimate relationships and families because that is where they get most of their food. It is hard to resist another person's pain-body that is determined to draw you into a reaction. Instinctively, it knows your weakest, most vulnerable points. If it doesn't succeed the first time, it will try again and again It is raw emotion looking for more emotion. The other person's pain-body wants to awaken yours so that both pain-bodies can mutually energize each other."

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, p. 148

The Human Addiction

Do you stay to long in relationships that are going nowhere? Is your girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse a negative influence in your life? Does he/she treat you badly (we might even ask simply, does he or she treat you in a way you don't prefer to be treated)? Does it seem like you can never quite get on the same sheet of music, so to speak? And to quote the song, "How long has this been going on?"

A long time, right?

Your significant other is not your problem. As with absolutely every aspect of life, if there's a problem, YOU are that problem. In this case, you may suffer from the human addiction.

Tantrums: Tolle vs. APA

The American Psychiatric Association recently introduced its first revision to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 16 years. The "bible" of the psychiatric field, the DSM, as it's called, has wide-ranging impact upon mental healthcare and society at large. It's revision has taken ten years so far and has a least another two to go before the new disorders it proposes will reach the quivers of healthcare professionals.

The APA is recommending some 41 changes in the area of childhood disorders ranging from learning disorders to retardation (can the APA still use this word?) to the relationship of Asperger's Disorder to autism.

Among the proposed new childhood disorders is one called "Temper Dysregulation Disorder with Dysphoria." This proposed disorder occurs between the years of six and ten and "is characterized by severe recurrent temper outbursts in response to common stressors."

Or in a word, tantrums.

Dramaholic

I found a thought provoking blog post called Are You a Dramaholic? by Carolyn Shannon. In the article, Carolyn draws a distinction between negative and positive drama. She writes: "For years my life was filled with negative drama thriving on the attention it brought me." After many years, says Carolyn, she became wise to her own patterns. "As I stepped onto the path of self awareness I began to realize I was a Dramaholic! I was as addicted to drama as anyone hooked on cigarettes, alcohol, sex or food."

Carolyn gives hope to all the drama addicted people out there, telling them that they don't have to give it up. They simply have to shift focus from negative drama to positive drama, "the WOW moments," as she calls them. "How often a parking spot is right there when needed; how many kind or friendly people we come into contact with each day; unexpected gifts of time, love, money or compliments; all the beautiful pictures Mother Nature keeps creating to awe us" are all excellent examples.

Dealing With the Past on the Level of the Present the Key to Beating Depression

Here is a key passage from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment:

[D]eal with the past on the level of the present. The more attention you give to the past the more you energize it, and the more likely you are to make a "self" out of it. Don't misunderstand: Attention is essential, but not to the past as past. Give attention to the present; give attention to your behavior, to your reactions, moods, thoughts, emotions, fears, and desires as they occur in the present. There's the past in you. If you can be present enough to watch all those things, not critically or analytically but nonjudgmentally, then you are dealing with the past and dissolving it through the power of your presence. You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You find yourself by coming into the present.

Depression results when we give up contact with reality, which can only be realized in the present moment, for the mental construct called the past. The past is a present moment that doesn't exist anymore, but people often continue to live in it for long stretches at a time as if it did continue to exist.

Balthasar Gracian and the Pain-body

Understanding of what Eckhart Tolle calls the pain-body has been around a long time. Here is one of Balthasar Gracian's maxims from The Art of Worldly Wisdom, written in 1637:

lxix Do Not Give Way to Every Common Impulse.

He is a great man who never allows himself to be influenced by the impressions of others. Self-reflection is the school of wisdom. To know one's disposition and to allow for it, even going to the other extreme so as to find the juste milieu between nature and art. Self-knowledge is the beginning of self-improvement. There be some whose humours are so monstrous that they are always under the influence of one or other of them, and put them in place of their real inclinations. They are torn asunder by such disharmony and get involved in contradictory obligations. Such excesses not only destroy firmness of will; all power of judgment gets lost, desire and knowledge pulling in opposite directions. [Italics added]

What has been less clearly stated is exactly what to do about the pain-body, how to dissolve it. Tolle says you dissolve the pain-body through simply becoming aware of it. This is a two-step process.

The Pain-Body Causes Criminals to Snap

This article was originally published by Technorati on 16 May 2010 as a Simply Spirited feature. To see all my Technorati articles, click Lifestyle in the Contents listing on the sidebar.

The Oxygen Network will premiere a new episode of "Snapped," its true crime series about women who kill tonight at 10:00 p.m. EDT (9:00 Central).

The 2004 murder-for-hire plot of Florida woman Karen Tobie (attention: spoiler alert if you click this link) is the subject of tonight's installment of the series, in its eighth season, that claims all female killers share a common trait: "At some point, they all snapped." Thus the title.

This is likely true on some level for men who kill as well. Be that as it may, where does this impulse come from? Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says that violence in general arises when people lose touch with "their natural state, the joy of life within."

Scientology Demystified-The Ultimate Business Model

This is not a pro-Scientology article.

If you wanted to make a lot of money what would you do? First, come up with a product or service that everyone wants. Second, find a way to be the only company that can market the product or service. Third, find a way that you can legally pay no taxes on the money you make.

Scientology, the creation of L. Ron Hubbard, has figured out how to do all three. And it's a very old business plan he put into action.

The product is enlightenment. Who wouldn't want that? Inner peace, right? Joy? No fear of death? Scientologists call enlightenment "clear."

From Russia Without Love: A Textbook Example of a Pain-body Attack

Ah, Mother Russia! Source of so much suffering! Add me to her long list of victims.

I've been planning a week-long trip to St. Petersburg, my final excursion before returning home to the U.S. I went last week to the Russian Embassy in Rome to apply for my visa. I was in line by 6:30 a.m., as my friend advised me to do. He said on the day he applied for his visa, he was second in line at 5:30 a.m. and the consular officer saw only two people that day.

"And if you think Neapolitans are bad at standing in line," he said. "Wait 'til you see the Russian ladies at the Embassy."

So I was prepared for any eventuality and I went into this adventure with low expectations. Especially so after recently returning through Rome from a trip to the UK. While waiting in line for an Italian Carabinieri to pretend to look at my passport, a large group of Russians flooded the lines from all angles, men, women and children, pretending not to notice anyone who had been waiting for a good long while in this lengthy queue.

Bizarre Hamas Psychological Warfare Cartoon Spurs Discussion of Non-Violent Protest

This article was originally published by Technorati on 26 April 2010. To see all my Technorati articles, click Lifestyle in the Contents listing on the sidebar.

It seems odd (and cynical, it goes without saying), but Hamas, the Palestinian terrorist organization that controls the Gaza Strip, has seen fit to release this video aimed at persuading Israelis--one supposes--to put pressure on their government to release 1000 Palestinian prisoners held in Israeli jails, in exchange for one Israeli soldier, Sgt. Gilad Schalit, captured by Hamas in June 2006.

I don't think it will work.

The Pain-Body: What Is It?

The term, Pain-body was coined (as far as I know) by Eckhart Tolle in his first book, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. He develops the idea much more fully in his second book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose.

The pain-body is a complex of built up thought patterns and emotions that results from unprocessed or unacknowledged pain experienced in the past. (Tolle goes so far as to hypothesize that we can be born with a certain amount of pain, but we need not agree with this view for the concept to be of service to us.) It lies dormant for varying periods of time, depending on the person, and is triggered by certain stimuli.

The Pain-Body in the Workplace

If people could take a sick day from work for a pain-body attack, we would probably find much more malady in the general population than we currently realize.

Check out this training video script from the HR department of a future Fortune 500 company I uncovered (humor alert: this doesn't really exist):

Another Swing at Inner Peace

I have said that inner peace is a physical phenomenon. Start with the physical sensations inside your body and hold your focus there because that's literally what inner peace is (see The Pain-Body label for more articles). And that's good advice.

But we can also look at it another way. As our good friend Eckhart Tolle puts it in A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61),"Being at peace and being who you are, that is, being yourself, are one." (p. 114-115)

What we are trying to get to is feeling like ourselves again, uncluttered by ego and pain-body and any kind of background unhappiness that is common to most of us."

A recent experience brought this home to me in a personal way. I received word that an old girlfriend of mine got married, and when I found out about it I could sense that it had ignited my pain-body.