Tantrums: Tolle vs. APA

The American Psychiatric Association recently introduced its first revision to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 16 years. The "bible" of the psychiatric field, the DSM, as it's called, has wide-ranging impact upon mental healthcare and society at large. It's revision has taken ten years so far and has a least another two to go before the new disorders it proposes will reach the quivers of healthcare professionals.

The APA is recommending some 41 changes in the area of childhood disorders ranging from learning disorders to retardation (can the APA still use this word?) to the relationship of Asperger's Disorder to autism.

Among the proposed new childhood disorders is one called "Temper Dysregulation Disorder with Dysphoria." This proposed disorder occurs between the years of six and ten and "is characterized by severe recurrent temper outbursts in response to common stressors."

Or in a word, tantrums.

If these tantrums persist for more than a 12-month period, during which time the child is in a persistently bad mood, he or she may be a candidate for this disorder. But, according to the proposed criteria, there may be breaks of up to three months between tantrums. So theoretically, a child could have four tantrums over a time period spanning a year and one day and fit the criteria.

Labeling it a disorder is one thing, what to do about it is another. On this the DSM is mute; it's only a diagnostic tool.

Compare the diagnosis of spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, detailed in his book, A New Earth. He calls such behavior an example of the "pain-body" (a term he has coined) in children.

Tolle writes, "Children's pain-bodies sometimes manifest as . . . weeping fits or temper tantrums. The child screams, may throw him or herself on the floor, or become destructive."

Similar diagnosis, but what's a pain-body? According to Tolle, "Any negative emotion that is not fully faced and seen for what it is in the moment it arises does not completely dissolve. It leaves behind a remnant of pain." Because of this, he says, "almost everyone carries in his or her energy field an accumulation of old emotional pain." This accumulation is the pain-body and it gives rise to negative behavior in all of us, including children.

Tolle says children tend to defer strong negative emotions of their own. They may also pick them up from their parents. In addition to these, he posits that children can inherit a "share of the collective pain-body of humanity."

He offers a prescription as well. First, parents should address the pain-body in themselves. Second, recognize when the child's pain-body has become active and don't get drawn into the drama. Finally, says Tolle, parents should discuss pain-body incidents with the child after the fact in a non-critical way. This will help him or her to "dis-identify from the pain-body," which is the first step toward dissolving it.

Photo courtesy of Free Printable Behavior Charts. com.